A year gone by...

One full year since the last time I wrote in this thing. A lot yet so little has changed.

I'm in China again. It seems I always write these things whilst in China. And, I'm certainly always trying to be funny. Someone recently called me "sunshine boy" out in this neck of the woods. I took it as a compliment. I like to laugh, and I love to smile.

I'm very tired of business. Or, rather, I'm really tired of my business. That's certainly a horrible thing to say because I'm so so blessed to have the people I have, the customers, the support, the whole thing. But, this business is practically my life. It has maimed me from having a personal life for the past 5 years and, without it, I'm left staring blankly in the mirror asking, "Who are you? And what do you like to do?"

Those typical questions that you're supposed to be able to spit back to new people that you meet...

"What do you do for fun?" - I work.

"What do you want to do with your life?" - Uh.. work.

"What do you think about in your spare time?" - Uh.. work.

"Where do you want to go on vacation?" - I can't. Have to work.

That's when I realize that I'm just a number to myself. OMG!

I was reading Ecclesiastes and just before the part where he says the two are better than one bit, he talks about a dude who wakes up one morning after all his toil with no one to share. No one bothers to talk about that verse because it's an ugly statement before this several beautiful stanzas. Certainly I have been chasing after the wind. And he's right, who knows how many days are left to count?

It is 2007. I'm going to commit to doing things differently. The first thing I'm going to do is run away somewhere far far far away, where cellphones and emails can't reach me. (And no, Jay, not China. Stop talking to yourself.) When I get there, I'm going to embarrass myself publicly and meet 10 strangers. I am going to tell them my life story and ask for theirs. And, I will write down their email addy's for further comm. later.

Before leaving for China, something miraculous happened. I had gone to NOC for the 3rd week in a row and I got to sit w/ Sarah and Arnold. Sarah, the same girl I make fun of all the time who I have always adored even though I fear her more obnoxious moments, sets her hand on me and prays for me as we do an exercise during service. What she had to say left me without words. I am so grateful that God puts angels in my life to guard and guide me.

I am realizing that a life in business means that dollars will be moving quickly around. And, I find myself walking on this fine line stretched miles and miles and miles with temptations lurking like creatures around me. When business is rough and the tides are high, it's like walking a tight-rope stretched across an abyss of darkness. It's so easy to lose sight of self and purpose.

I'm fortunate that God sends the Spirit to keep me straight when my knees begin to buckle. And, there is nothing I can do to repay Nancy and Sarah and all those people that are praying for me. I don't deserve these people. I don't deserve their blessing. I don't deserve any of what I have today. Knowing that brings me to my knees at the foot of the cross.

Well.. that's a spoonful off me chest. I wonder when the next blog will be. Maybe in another year?

Words to self: Slow it down. Serve God. Find good days on the earth. Find good health. Pray for those in your circle of concern. Do good to some strangers in the name of God.

ahh.. february 7.. officially 25 a couple days ago.. sadness. don't they get more and more meaningless as they go by? are they supposed to? previously, i would have thought we would go out about the town given it was my bday.. this year --- eck.. just wanted to stay home home home. i love home.

that brings me to another point. went to kent's new townhouse in rancho cuchi on friday night. and, since then, i'm obsessed about buying a house. the question is - how? i really do wonder how much money our generation will need to earn in order to afford anything "decent." for a half million these days, you either get the crap of a developed neighborhood or a brand new nice place somewhere in the buttcrack of nowhere. ack.. if only i could make one million a year.... i keep thinkin', "if tyra banks can make $5M + in a year, and i must be smarter than her... then why can't i?"

since i'm headed in that direction, i must say that our parents were wrong. they taught us asian-am kids that education and knowledge is the most important thing in life. WRONG. education and knowledge just makes you someone else's tool - a vehicle for them to earn money on. instead, parents should identify and cultivate a child's talents or passion. afterall, when you do something you're passionate about, you'll undoubtedly succeed. so, my kids will be celebrities. i will take them to acting class when they turn 3.

steve ended up getting the 525. it's pretty sexy. yeah.. this car better improve his game b.c. i'm getting sick and tired of the complaints about women. for a damn good-lookin' fellow, he gets caught up in this self-minimalising rant way too much. i often hear the words, "way out of my league, man" or "how am i supposed to get that?" all steve has to do really is grow some balls w/o the alcohol AND TALK TO THEM. usually, mr. walker will turn him into mighty mouse, but without the drink ... ehh... let's just say his mojo is shot. we'll have to work on this.

back to houses.. nancy and i went driving around yorba linda and brea looking for potential income property or maybe... one day.. perhaps.. maybe.. a home??? hehehe.. (she not going to like what i just said) so, we headed a little further east on lambert and came to Olinda Ranch.. WOOHOO!! NICE!!! so, we're thinking, "this would be perfect" until we saw the sign "... starting in the low 1,000,000's." and we said, "rooooightt."

the low $1M's gets you a POS 3 bedroom detached home. 3 bedrooms for a million bucks?! anything with 5 bedrooms is well over $1.5M and there are houses going up to $2.4. ridiculous.. and they don't have yards.

sarah, your birthday is coming up, you better have a hot date or neither nancy or i will show. listen - if you can't find a date for your event where people drive around the city like weirdos and do weird things - let me know. i can find you a nice decent hornball w/ his mind to do dirty tricks and show you a world of homo-eroticism that you have never known. if that doesn't work, we'll advertise you on my website and i'll pay for sponsored searches for "hot date" or "16 year old girls with 18 year old thoughts" or "sagfbdm - single asian girl for bdm". either which way, we'll find you someone suitable.

my cousin linda is also single. she's 29 and very very cute. if anyone out there would like to be setup on a blind date w/ linda, please post a comment. you have to live in LA or OC to be eligible. you have to be tall, dark, and handsome. you have to be smart, funny, and intellectual; spontaneous and diligent. proud and prejudice. sensitive and sensible. if you are a moron and you try to take her out, i will murder you. i say that so loosely, but i mean it. i have no problem stabbing you six times in the chest, arm, left lower rib cage, right thigh, stomach, and neck.

well.. that's it.. sleepless in seattle.